- Professionals

- Frat buds

- Children

(Source: tsundereslasher)

388,640 notes

deepwithinthedeadliestdarkness:

equalistsfuckshitup:

story time when i was 16 my mom and i were watching ellen and my mom says 

‘oh look my favorite lesbian!’

and i said ‘i thought i was your favorite lesbian?’

and she just stared at me for a moment and said 

‘oh ok. ‘

and we just continued watching 

and thats how i came out to my mother

Fucking A Star.

248,581 notes

Send me a couple stars

superwho-fandomstuck:

✪ = I wanna kill you
✪✪ = I hate you
✪✪✪ = I kinda dislike you
✪✪✪✪ = You’re okay
✪✪✪✪✪ = Whoa you’re kinda cute
✪✪✪✪✪✪ = Stop being so perfect
✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ = *nosebleed*
✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ = oh god you are hella sexy
✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ = I wanna have sex with you
✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ = Marry me
✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪ = BLUE  EYES  ULTIMATE
DRAGON

67,650 notes

opentheairforfreshwindows:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

spaghetti

(Source: sofunnyimcryan)

198,696 notes

cleancupcleancupcleancupmovedown:

bbcwonderland:

thegreatbigfour:

honestlysam:

watch me get 0 questions

image

PLEASE ASK ME STUFF I’D LOVE TO ANSWER EVERYTHING!

I will be the one with 0 questions

(Source: zyayn)

475,940 notes

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

105,910 notes

rocker310:

stylishirish:

horain:

stylishirish:

this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back 

that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil.

it was a mechanical pencil 

You may proceed

459,628 notes

vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

(Source: basedyeeezus)

416,076 notes

kaliforhnia:

There’s always gonna be that one person that you can’t get out of your mind no matter how hard you try.

76,841 notes